Heresy and Muffins (all Chapters)

Heresy and Muffins, Chapter 1 & 2 - the end of the Sister

Looking up at the stars, I feel reasurance, that I have done right. While getting soaked in my own Blood, mixxed with the Blood of others, having this peace of mind seems weird.
If I think about, how just moments ago, I was with my Sisters, in the middle of a fight with some heretics who, in pursuit of power, managed to summon a Deamon, I feel bad for leaving my other Sisters behind like this but I know they will be done with him, swiftly and easily as always.
I am... used to be a member of the Sisters of Battle, nothing extraordinarily special ammong my Sisters of the Order of Our Martyred Lady. I won't beg for the forgiveness of Saint Katherine, I know I'm unworthy of it, still I find solace in the knowledge, that I have killed many enemies of the Imperium.
I can only hope, that uppon my soon comming death, my Sisters will forgive me.
Some, I hope, will forgive.
Some, I hope, may not even know.
Some, I hope, may think I died at the hands of that heretic, whatever his name was. I never cared enough about their names.
Now I feel bad about this. Who where the people I killed?

I remember my first one, it was a Murder Servitor, that went rampage, that was back when I was a Acolyte. It was pure luck, really. I was on my way, to learn with some Sisters, they where hunting down a Techpriest who took it too far with his Machine God and killed a few to many humans, I don't remember the details but I never acctually met said Techpriest. Instead, while searching for him, we encountered Servitors, almost all of them aggressive.
We have been led to believe, that he was in a Workshop, that the Techpriest once set up in a rural area of a low populated feral world near the eatern fringe, It would be a popular planet, for nearby Space Marines, I presume but it must have been very lowly populated as we didn't see any humans.

Together with a Squad of Sisters, we disembarked a few Kilometers away from the estimated place, where the Heretic could have been. We did so, as to not alert him to our presence. Of course, he wasn't dangerous for any of us, but the holy Emperor may know, if he possessed means of getting away. As a matter of fact, it's acctually likely, that by that time, he still was on the Planet but simply not in were we expected him to be.
We marched towards a hill, to assess the situation and maybe point out his probably whereabouts. The Planet was mostly Jungle, not very warm but the forest lay thick enough, to make it hard, if we had to give chase also there was Metal-Junk arround everywhere, a clear indicator of the Heretech.
On top of our hill, there where no high trees, so the taller and more heavily armed sisters had to wait a few steps down the hill, again, as to not raise awareness to our surroundings. Surely, this wasn't the way we usually behaved, but this was also meant to train me and some other young girls in the basics of tactics and stealth.
The Heretic has been made out, smoke was highly visible above the tree-cover, a dark smoke that must have come from running engines and heresy.
The Three groups of Sisters, each of them with three sisters, one with a flamer and two with bolters and chainswors started aproaching the source of the dark smoke.
I was ordered to stay behind, together with some other Acolytes and even one Novice girl. Her Name was Valentina Hostia, she and I where the youngest so we stood together and talked. We had fun, none of us took this very seriously, following the lead of the older Sisters which didn't take it very seriously either. They sat in the grass and talked about the Situation and how foolish the Techpriest must have been, to make this whereabouts this obvious.
Hostia and I, standing near the top of the hill discussed about different weapons and what we hoped to accomplish. I showed her some tricks, I could do, with a metal staff that I found in a pile of rubble.
The Sister, that was left with us, stood with her back to us and noticed the Servitor to late as it ripped Hostia appart on the spot.
The Servitor then locked it's view onto the turning Sister, as she readied her Bolter Pistol.
The Servitor which just a few moments ago, looked like a heap of rubble was seemingly oblivious to my existence. I knew, as it charged, that the Sister wouldn't have time to aim let alone shoot, hell, I'm sure she simply didn't expect it, right behind her.
I had the Metal Staff in my Hand, it was heavy, made of simple Iron and pointy at one end.
I've been trained in varrious tactics of War.
I've learned ways to defend myself even without weapons.
I was a 12 year old killing machine.
And – most importantly in this situation - I knew, where the pointy end goes, if you want to stick it into something.
So I rammed my oversized Toothpick into it's back.
It didn't go trough, it got stuck in some Metal inside of the Servitors Body but my strike had enough force, to make it halt.
This gave me enough time, to Jump back, away from it.
And it was enough time, for my older Sister, to shoot it point blank into the head. I'm pretty sure it didn't have a brain, but knowing there Mechanicus with their Machine Spirit, I'm sure they put something very important in there.
Also there wasn't much of a head left, those Bolters have force.
Now you may argue, that this wasn't really MY kill, but I like to see it as it. Also, the other Sisters kind of handled it, as if it was.
From that Point on, I became a full fledged Sister really fast.
I learned my way with Bolters almost right after but to this day, I prefer chainblades and Flamers.
They have this up and personal thing about them, that really draws me in.


My second kill was acctually more an execution and I wasn't necessary for it. For me it was more of a ritual, to test my first own chainblade, of which I was very proud.
I didn't think twice about who I was killing, it was a member of some Imperial Regiment that didn't follow his Orders.
Back then, there was a skirmish with some criminals on a Imperial Guards Hive World, it wasn't by intention, that my Group got into the fight, we wanted to come and pay a visit to a local cathedral to pray, afterwards we where to hold a holy mass for the public. So in most, we – as in me and four other Sisters where mainly to protect a priest, who was sent here. He has heard of the ongoing problematics in the area and probably thought that, getting the population to become more faithfull would be a good strategy. He has had a certain Charisma so, personally, I absolutly believed that this could've worked.
Right after we got off the aircraft, that got us into the city, we witnessed a couple of Imperial Guardsmen, trying to escape the city with a aircraft just next to ours. They dug their own grave as at first, we didn't intend to do anything with them, we weren't bothered and I didn't mind them fleeing, it was none of my business.
One of them however made a pretty bad statement, in a loud enough matter for us to hear.
"damn this Emperor, if he truly existed, he could put an end to this mess of an Imperium, I just want these wars to be over and get away from this ...this messed up place"
We stopped in our tracks, my fellow Sisters and I, looked trough the greenish air, at the priest for orders. We didn't need them, but we where told to abide his will. Clearly, he would have let that pass as there was much worse on this world. My Sisters and I although where furrious with anger that must have shown in our faces. The Dust on the unclean, chiseled stone beneath us seemed to wait for him. The Crowd arround us, which had already given us a wide berth, fastened their pace and didn't look anywhere. Four tall women with Flamers and Chainswords stand out, I guess. The Clergyman in front of us, could have easily hidden his presence in this massive layer of humans, he looked indecisive. All the while the Guardsmen, still loading their luggage on the carrier, where absolutly oblivious the the scene just a few steps away from them and kept talking.
"Let's just hope to get away before anyone notices, nobody will raise a finger once we are far enough away, have you seen the thousands of Guardsmen there where? All giving their lives for that useless pile of bones that ARE SUPPOSED to be somewhere in this ****-ed up universe? As if I'd give a **** about that rotten ***** of ****ecclesearcy ****-*******."
Poor Guardsman.
I don't remember his Name or the Date of when it happened but I remember clear as day, that he didn't speak anymore. Before I made him kneel down, before his General, he only looked at me with sad eyes.
We took brought them to their superior, and where told to execute them, in the presence of their Comrades. In the Square Room, made of nothing but cold Stone, the voice of the Comissar, who stood beside, blasted like a shotgun trough the silence of the onstanding men and women of the Imperium, beeing silent like always.

I wasn't glad, that I caught him. I didn't feel bad either. I just felt, like it was the right thing to do, in the name of the Imperium and the holy Emperor himself.
After the Commissar ended, the priest forgave their sins and prayed.
Then the roaring sound, a clean and swift cut, then a stab, for good measure and the smell of Promethium filling the air arround me. The dark smoke from it's reaction with air.


Oh holy Emperor forgive me, for I loved that smell and the blackness that came with it. I never liked the blood so I kept cleaning my robes afterwards. Sure they where technically mostly black and red, so the blood wouldn't be too visible, but I always kept my clothes clean. I knew already, how rotten my soul was.


Even durring my third encounter with death, that I inflicted myself, as we watched a squad of Repentia, take apart some tribe of Unbelievers, I loved the sight.
I always loved my Sisters, that joined the Repentia. I feel obligated to do the same now, but it's to late now anyways.
It was some Emperorforsaken Planet, really small and with air, that reeked of Sulfur. I contemplated, if that planet had once been touched by something chaos, because it even looked wicked, with black sharp stones and valleys that looked as if made by explosions. It's only theory of course, I remember neither the Name of that planet nor have I learned it's history.
I only knew, that there was a new cult, that pursuit forbidden knowledge and even went as far, as to question the Inquisition.
Mind you, I've never been close and personal with any Inquisitor but I knew our orders. The Repentia seemed to be doing just fine however until at some point, a few of the Cults followers charged out of their huts into our direction. While my Sisters shot them down, I waited in for my favorable way of bringing death.
I counted men and women among the ones I killed. I spared the children but not out of some pity, I simply didn't aim for anything that beneath my waist.
I remember that I couldn't smell the Promethium that day, I only smelled the spilled blood of those Unbelievers. What a horrible day.

I remember, how after this battle, I asked the monk that managed our Armoury, if I could get a Eviscerator and how she laughed it off. I later had a talk with our Canoness, she saw my promising work and knew, that I was perfect for it. So she told me, that I could get one, if I managed to survive one more, my acctually first REAL, Mission.
It didn't end well.

Our Canoness, Aiden Luaithre already knew me from long ago. We fought together as Sisters against the Xenos, before she became our Canoness – I will tell THAT story annother time, I don't count the deaths of Xenos here. She choose me especially for this Mission, because she knew of my faith in the holy Emperor, and my skill with a Chainsword.
We where a strike force, supposed to bring havoc ammong some Heretics, driven by Chaos. We've been sent out to a mission, which was supposed to be our sure death but we had faith in our Emperor and faith in the Inquisition.
We brought to the fight: Our Canoness, armed with a heavy Bolter, Aiden was known to be a huge woman, even for our Standarts, she towered above all of us and some rumors said, that she even looked large compared to a Space Marine. I couldn't tell, I've never seen one up close enough to compare it.
I led a Squad of Sisters, all of us at the Rank of Dominion, as each of us excelled, with a certain weapon, I was with them using a heavy Flamer and the Eviscerator.
In all we where about 100 Sisters, although I never had the time to count and we joined with some Sisters of the Order of the Blue Rose, it didn't look like they brought as many, but I was never as tall as Luaithre and couldn't see them well, we greeted each other and prayed together, in a Cathedrall on Ophelia VII.

Some Mechanicus came to pick us up, on a ship of the Inquisition, I'm sure these Enginseers weren't the acctuall Masters of this ship, but they where the only ones I saw. We where allowed to pray, eat and get ourselfs ready.
We've all been blessed and where ready to die, in the Name of the Emperor.

If I understood our Plan correctly, The Force I led, together with some of the Order of the Blue Roses Seraphim and Canoness Aiden, where to engage the enemy at his center.
We weren't expected to survive, but just in case, we where told, that if we hold out about half a day, the other forces should catch up to us.
We where sent, to minimize the damage, and enable our forces to secure a safe zone. All that Military gibberish, I never understood too well. I knew how to kill and I was good at it. Happy, I shalt have died for the Emperor.
I should have.
But I never did.

Before the main force of our Troops was to land, our Contingent was led to a seperate Drop Pod.
It was unusual for us, to land with these so we had to learn the basics first. Easy enough, we weren't needed to do anything, as the machine spirit would do the landing for us. We just had to know, how to stay in there and be ready to strike, right after landing.

The Landing was uninterrupted and save, the walls inside the Pod where littered with rites and prayers. We all prayed.
The massive Pod must have crushed the surprised forces of Chaos. As our Door opened we looked uppon a Agri-World with our Pod in the middle of a giant mass of Cultists and heretics. Slaanesh. Even I could make this out the chaos, the Herecy.
Imediatelly, my flamer started to Roar and bring death uppon them, accompanied by the heavy bolters and Flamers of my Sisters.
I looked down on the enemy, our Pod delivered us safely on a hill in their midst. No Vehicles or Structured arround, only infantry and most likely these weren't thought to battle, but instead to gather Ressources. Still, they ran torwards us, eager to kill and bring pain.
One hour, after continuing fire, we have only moved forward. This Chaos was weak.
They weren't prepared for us and we stood on vavorable Ground.
A thick carpet of Chaos seemed to cover everything and continiued to the horizon.
Hours passed while we ran fire down on them, noone came close enough for me yet, to Test my new Weapon, that still resided behind me in the Pod. It was thought to only come into action once we ran out of ammunition. I still don't know what strings Aiden pulled to give me this, but I was eager to use it. The Emperor protected us, from the Heresy and blessed our Weapons, we should all have long, run out of fuel and ammunition but blessed, as the god Emperors ways are, we stood on, the towering figure of our glorious Canoness right next to me.
Our shouts and prayers where louder then these chaos forces could muster and the sun already started to set.
I looked uppon Aiden next to me as she prayed she looked like a saint to me. It was a love, as only Sisters could share it, I was praying myself.
We didn't have any hope, for aid to come to us. We heard the Organs play in the distance and knew our Sisters have engaged in the slaughter probably Kilometers away from us.
My Flamer ran out, by now the sun had set and the moon only dimly let anything, the darkness all arround us seemed to thicken and I felt myself loosing faith. Still I stood on, hearing the chanting of my Sisters I went back to pick up my Eviscerator, eager to prove my worth. At that very Moment Chaos pushed us one step back. Uppon the dead bodies of hundrets of Heretics we stood as Slaanesh presented us, with what we where prepared for, our iminent Doom, in form of twisted Chaos Marines acompanied by, what I think, must have been a Deamonette appeared in the middle of the Enemy.
I saw our Sisters Seraphim, in their white Armour and Blue Robes descent uppon the Chaotic Forces, I couldn't see them very well anymore as the darkness was as thick as the layer of Chaos on the Ground. I heard my first Sister Fall, just as I turned arround with my new glorious weapon ready.
I charged into the Enemy, slaying and decapitating. Every move of my Glorious Weapon slaughtered three more Heretics.
My Sisters still stood ground behind me but their Bolters ran out and they only had Chainswords left.
In front of me, the enemy parted way, for a deamon to appear. It looked at me as I glanced back at my Sisters and froze. I stood still, as the last of my Sisters fell, only two remaining on the hill. I still fought, as I saw our glorious Aiden kneel, heavily wounded with only Prayer on her lips.
I closed my eyes.

And I opened them.
These where the last Deaths, I brought uppon the Heretics, in the will of the Inquisition and for the holy god Emperor.
This is, how I lie now, looking at the stars.
And as it seems, these forces of Chaos don't intend to kill me.
Heresy and Muffins, Chapter 2 - the birth of Muffins "Muffins for the Emperor"

I blink again. The Dark endless clear sky above me, all is darkness, although a bright moon is shining down, the battleflield arround me is covered in the shadow of Chaos.
For the first time in, what seemed like and eternety I dare to move, first recollecting the moments before I fell.

I tried to fight a Deamonette and a endless mass of Cultists, my Sisters behind me on the Hill, where the Droppod dropped us.
I didn't remember killing the Deamonette.
I'm sure I didn't kill all those Heretics.
I don't think all the Chaos Marines, I caught a glimpse off before, are dead.
So why am I still alive?
Why do I hear the sound of battle only in the far distance?
Why am I looking at the skies like this?
What... What just happened.

My Brain starts functioning again slowly. Before I was on the ground, starring at the sky, I was kneeling and praying... why was I praying?
I was badly injured and sure of my soon death. The deamonette managed to hit me and many the cuts, delivered by the heretics, destroyed most parts of my armour, yet I don't feel pain right now.
I feel the warmth of Blood underneath me, I know it's my blood. I know I have been cut, I shouldn't be alive right now.
I turn my gaze to the hill, it's the only thing that I can make out in this darkness, because the droppod emmits a faint light.
I see, what I think must have been Aiden my beloved Canoness even kneeling she can be easily seen. She's dead, I can see the huge puddle of blood, I don't see any cuts or bullet holes, she must have been killed in a different way, a way that still let her bleed out.
Tears run down my face.
Why am I not dead yet?
On my back, I turn my head and look infront of me, between my boots I see the deamonette standing, looking at me.

"Hey, I'm still alive here" I say calmly

the deamonette just looks at me as if I was some interessting species... I don't want to know what a Slaanesh deamonette thinks about me so I ask:

"Why don't you kill me?"

Silence.
I sit up and look down on me.
Most parts of my Armour will need replacement both sholder plates are missing, so is my backpack but my robes held most of everything and my main armour is still in place.
Taking minutes to look at everything, especially my boots, which remain absolutly intact up to now. Am I annoying the Deamonette with this? I hope so.
Slowly I raise on my feet and look at her. Probably not the best of Ideas, as I've heard that these deamonettes shouldn't be looked at for to long. For me, she just looked like something I want to cut up with my Eviscerator.
The giant Blade is right in front of me, where I left it when I was kneeling down.
Should I pick it up? Is she waiting for me to fight her? Damn everything, I can't seem to get my brain to function the way it should.

"I could go for a Muffin right now" – I hear myself say.
Where did that come from? Sure, I am hungry but what the F***
Did the Deamonette just smile?

Not thinking about it, I jump at her with the intend to rip her to shreds.
Not having picked up the Eviscerator, armed only with Gauntlets I try to choke her, again: a fatal mistake.
I was thaught to never engage the creatures of the Warp in Close combat like this, the far stronger Deamonette just looks at me.
One more fatal mistake, I look straight back. I havn't looked at a Deamonette in my life up to that point, well not THIS close up at least.
It was beautiful. It looked like... like Aiden and smelled of Fire, Incence and Chainswords.
I could never bring myself to kill that. Taking away my Gauntlets and averting my gaze, I remember my training.
How could I make such a childish error and look straight at a Deamonette, of course, they resemble the things we desire.
At this point I realise... no, I admigt my desires. I never looked at Aiden this way but I enjoyed her presence.
I desire her to be alive again.
The Sister I so adored and always hoped to live up to her expectations. I loved her more then a daughter could love her mother. I miss her more then I miss anything else in this universe.
I cry.

"He fullfills wishes" I heard a bodyless voice echoing arround me.
"Yes Yes, fullfilling all desires is what she does" annother voice echoes, this one inside of me.
"Heresy can't bring my Sisters back to life, Heretics!" I shout at the Deamonette that still stands in front of me.
"It fills the holes in your heart" the Deamonette speakes with a voice that sounds so undescribeably beautiful and yet so tainted and horrid.
"I desire only death to you and your kind" I wisper and then, in a loud voice, shout:
"I desire only to serve the Emperor until death. SO KILL ME!"

I reach for the Eviscerator to my feet and in less then a second trust it at the deamonette.
My arms feel heavy and I swing too slowly, the copy of Aiden takes a step back, looks at me, unblinking and says in a voice that was neither silent nor loud but screamed in my head and was impossible to hear with my ears:
"You desire many things and you don't know of them, we will show you your desires"
I now realise the source of the second voice, the one in my head, telling me:
   "I desire to smell the Eviscerator at work,
   I desire Aiden to speak to me again,
   I desire to burn
   I desire life
   I desire death
   I desire sweet foods
   I desire pain
   I desire pleasure
   battle... sweet ... beautiful"
My brain tells me.
My mouth finishes:
   "pain, pleasure and muffins"

At this moment the Sister of Battle whos name I forgott died.
At this moment, what became known to my enemies as Muffin Heretic was born.

The Deamonette joins my laughter as the Organs play in the distance.
My beloved Sisters dead on the Ground behind me I know that many more Sisters shall die tonight and in the morning that follows.
"hahahaha, MUFFINS" I scream. "MUFFINS FOR THE EMPEROR!"



Heresy and Muffins Chapter 3 - getting it on with Chaos

I'm still alive. I don't want to be but I am.
Why Emperor? - Why have you forsaken me? - Was I not loyal to you?
No I wasn't, deep in my heart I know I wasn't, I was never worthy of beeing a Sister Sororitas and now I have been proven unworthy.

Opening my eyes, I can see the Mass of corpses that I have created, as I ran alongside these fiends and deamons. It's similar to how we used to fight, but less coordinated, more random and more like a dance of waves.
We're not gonna hold our Ground and it's not what we seek to do either, all we seek is more... more of everything, I know I seek the same.
 I admit I have enjoyed moments of it, of this carnage and I'm still shacking with the feeling, I have yet to find a good name for it.
The Deamonette which looks so much like my beloved dead Sister talks with me now... I should... listen... but my head feels so heavy from everything.
The joke of a rest of armour that I wear is completly soaked in blood.
My Blood.
My Sisters Blood.
And the Blood of the enemies I was sent out to kill.
"I have failed, father."
"Have faith in her!"
The female Deamon talks to me. I have things I want to know;
"Who is it, that corrupted me?" - I ask
"The holy Godess of Highkings, bringer of pleasure incarnate: Slaanesh."
"I know that. What is your name, Aiden?"
"Aiden? No but I enjoy that. My name is... Puerta."
"How is it you talk to me? Am I not your enemy?"
The Deamonette giggles - I start to like the sound of it; "We are not enemies, you have so much pleasure in yourself, so much love and sorrow; I can feel it, I know it."
It gestures a circle with it's clawed arm, showing the wasteland of death arround: "Also, without you, this would not have happened."
I smile slightly, it's a sick smile, I killed so many of my so beloved Sisters, I hate it and I want to cry but yet I smile.
I have lost all my friends, my Sisters, my Family, my Faith and all I was worth, still yet I smile.
"Why does this make me happy, Puerta?"
"It's pleasure, flesh creature. Submit to us and it will bring you a eternity of it."

We talked a lot after this.
It was clear the Deamonette considered humans as little more then cattle, sometimes less than even that. Nontheless she had a liking to me.

The battle was still raging in the distant. Again I smiled, there was still hope for me to find redemption at the hands of a Sister.
I would like to be burnt. If possible, even by a Sister from my Order.
That wanting to burn also made me feel an intense want, of burning others.
I want to have more of this pleasure. I want to forgett about... everything... about my Sisters and our father.

I am torn between redemption and throwing myself deeper into the pit of loosing myself. I feel i will loose everything I was but I'm not scared of it anymore.
"Let me forget and drown in pleasure then." I smile as I run into battle alongside the Deamonette once again as a dozen Seraphim of the Order of the Blue Rose fall on us and the Resting Cultists arround.
I left none alive.